Starbucks fail; a revisit

23 March, 2009 at 6:47 PM · Filed under Uncategorized and tagged: Apple, Fail, Starbucks

Not everyone is a Starbucks fan; some go small coffeehouses and others just stick to Dr. Pepper or Dew or Coke. Many people think that being a Starbucks addict is similar to being an Apple computer ass-kisser, and I can see how the two can relate. I’m fine grabbing coffee from that little kiosk in the library and using their Dells to print whatever I need, but it comes down to this: a good iced latte from Starbucks and my own Macbook are two of the great loves of my life. In many cases, no one does it better. That being said, most big chains and corporations like these are not without flaw. With Apple, I call the weak spot the Macbook Air (be realistic; it’s stupid). At Starbucks, my nitpick references the lagging “name on the cup” system. It holds room for too much unnecessary error; I understand it could be beneficial in the big urban locations, but DEAR GOD just use numbers like every other restaruant or cafe.

So anyways, the following was originally posted in my personal journal on November 19 of last year in reference to the number of times our tiny campus Starbucks went and done me wrong.

“You know what fails a lot? Starbucks.
I mean, don’t get me wrong… they’re generally delicious.
HOWEVER. They fail. I was going to postpone this post until the official end of the semester, but they pretty much know my name now so I hopefully will get no more fail. Anyway, enough rambling… on to the evidence:

Ah… the first picture stems from one special occasion and happens to be my favorite example of Starbucks being full of fail. This is the result of the cashier singsonging, “Venti nonfat iced latte with toffee nut fooooooooorrrrr…” and then flinging his winglike arms out toward me expectantly as though we were on Broadway finishing a song and dance number. I thought about singing back at him with jazzhands, but my brain didn’t work as fast as my mouth, as it was stunned by the apparent retardation. My response? ”Uh… Lexi?”
Uh Lexi.
UhLexi.
ALEXI.
HA! I WIN. This is my stage name should I ever happen upon a profession that pays for my awesome jazzhands.

Example Numero 2:

This is another one of my favorites, for one special reason. Now, I know with all the blenderizing and bean smashing and syrup pumping going on, its occasionally hard to hear behind that counter. Also, if you say it fast, “Lexi” kind of sounds like “Lacey” anyways. This is still full of fail, however, because after she said “Venti non fat iced latte with toffee nut for Lacey” and I finished inwardly groaning about how I would SO be blogging about this, I handed her my card. Now the card is the best part, because in response to it she said, “Aww… Alexa. You have a cute name.”
GAH. I know she might have assumed I was named Alexa and gathering coffee for a Lacey, but when she and the dancing man are the cashiers I visited the most that semester, I figured they’d get it right. They memorized the drink, not the name.
FAIL.

Examples three and four require no explanation, its just me being picky:

So anyway, that last one, “Lexy” was what was handed to me today. You know, there are only so many ways to misspell or misunderstand “order number thirty four.” I’m just sayin’. It’s not like my current favorite order (“double venti iced nonfat cafe con leche with no sugar hazelnut”) doesn’t contain enough words for them to forget already; lets add names to the mix.

Starbucks, you suck so bad. Why do I love you so? Run off with the Macbook Air and have shitty, lightweight, over caffeinated babies already.

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