A Window
personal musingsArchive for Photography
I need inspiration
And I need it bad.
I started thinking the other day about how long it’d been since I developed any photos. Beginning of January, it seems. Sure, I thought I’d put film on the backburner for a while and break out the digital again, but my Sony has seen even less action 
. I jokingly set my Facebook status the other day begging people to let me use them so I could take more portraits, and I suprisingly got a few hits. In actuality, I’d like to focus on all my friends and family so I could have one good picture of each person I care about, no matter how little I see them or how close we are. I’d love to have a series to hang in my new apartment in the fall along with the movie posters I seem to have purchased. I’m going to start with the more willing (Apryle, Nikki, probably Krista, maybe Mary) who aren’t too camera shy and see if I can take it anywhere. *crosses fingers* 
Speaking of, I need to find a place to live… and by that I mean I need to finish my essays for GW and see if I’ll even still be in the state come August. I’m pretty possitive I’ll apply and (IF I get accepted) defer my acceptance until what is officially my “junior” year. I can’t stomach the idea of going from living on my own to living in a dorm in a city I’m still not 100% used to. It will be a giant change either way, but being forced to sleep each night in the same room as people I do not know will make it no less awkward.
It seems my apartment choices are left up to Eagle Villa Suites (smelled like eggs) or the Varsity (I’ve heard horror stories) because those are the only affordable one bedrooms. I’d lose my mind in a studio and have too much furniture. Without a job I have not even a chance at affording a 2 bedroom by myself. I could try to find a room mate that I know that I’m not as close to as I am Nikki and Apryle… someone I could easily get along with but who I don’t already spend so much time with that I feel our present relationship would be compromised. Still, easier said than done.
I need to find something to cling to right now; have you ever been in a situation where everything was looking so mediocre that you find something, anything… the most inane thing, actually… to clutch really tight to your chest for dear life? Well either way, I do that all the time, and I realized all to quickly that each of those things were crap. They don’t have value or substance and don’t deserve all of my brainpower.
Right now I’m swiftly focusing on getting as healthy as I possibly can. I figure that’s probably the best possible “vice” to have, if it could be called such. Alana has found a surefire way to keep me from over exercising, so I know I wont turn into a creepy obsessed lady. Still, I have an empty feeling that I know is the result of so much loss lately, in every sense of the word. When I feel so down like this, though, I’ve come to identify this feeling as one not of emptiness, but rather a sign that a well of good energy is brewing inside me, waiting to be tapped. I certainly hope this is the case and I wont be eating my words in a few months.
